“Dark…” [poetic short]

Dark. It is so dark with just the light of screens in front of me. And what?

Have you known the times, that are not countable, when I’d be in this sort of darkness with just screens making the light… You’d never tell me, right?

The place with heavy rain outside, summer, close to the chill of autumn. Art piece in the works, the sun that blasts heat midday to evening and then softly shall go into change, a swap with the moon. But it was blue by the feeling, it was dark as it went. And that is the time that I’m sent.

Another is close to the border of crazy. It’s summer, but the place is outside the framework of lazy. With me and cats and whatever sad situation was that. With musings to why and the memories that made one cry, but surely… It was a goodbye. There too, was dark night.

The dark that was in the room which felt like the movie made store, with damn beauty and vibe, but void of the sense of the “Home” one would long for. And it was dark. But pretty sure that things were not only that.

The rooms that been, the rooms which I stayed in, which I’ve seen… One thing does bring about reoccurring part. The first cards that I got for the work to explore where I’d be taken henceforth.

And I did. Explore, grow, learn, get towards the mad cornerstone which I felt was all alone, but frankly speaking – no. I was surrounded by the most precious of people or the most fucked up kind of foes. But it’s not sure.

The cards though.

I’ve met the deck in shop that I thought I’d not visit so much, yet I was drawn there like for a long go. I went, I saw and I got the deck. Then with time it was another one, and one more… Like a whole bucket of 3 to go. Collection expanded, the works got even more winded. But hey, it’s what we’re here for.

From love-why’s that and more of relationship with my favourite deck from the one that I am no longer drawn for… But that’s for now. I know how they do that charm and I’m wooed by them once more. The cheeky kind of “whoa”.

But dark. Dark is what I’m meant to speak about.

I wonder at times, have you managed to severe the shit ties that dragged you down to shore? Have you changed from how you were before? Have you found what you want at last to get that sparkle in your eyes?

And sure, there might be situations that one could wear forever more. But I’d not go back to that, which was burned to bare ground. With no ashes left and no memory found.

Dark is where I prosper, with or without sound. It’s where I’ve found comfort, just like in the light of the day, with eyes squinting from sun rays. But just as I am, as I may, I am here as I’ll be every day, until last day. To write some things that wallow in the back of my being.

I trust that it’ll not take too long for me to get that feeling, to have what I strive and long for. It’s already here as I taste the joy of works that I’ve made.

It’s never the same. Not the name. Not the way.

There will be a moment, when I’ll speak in my soft voice, the softest of words to someone who is my choice. Sincerely. Lovingly. Like the time I’m making it be. And so it is, as I am willing it free.

Does this whole mess make no sense. It’s meant to not be intense. Just a glimpse of the tense little day that’s at work in the back of returned little crack, which is making the window let breeze in in the dark of the new dark room, with this new found skin. Does it irk the ways that the world taste in the back of the dark of tonight?