“Persimmon Charm”
Your charm would ever curse you
If it could… would… should…
But it’s not what would use you
It’s the might that got robbed
With the face in covers that sobbed
And little did they know of all that
Which you battle, pulling self back with that thud
Speechless would be mouth that’s thirsting over you
But words keep falling out of them the more they think they knew
How life was there, what things to do, just glued to screen, just watching you
They idolize, they patronize, apologize, shout love, but further down,
Way further down that’s not what’s looking for
And days begin and end the same,
It’s such a dazzling gift and blame to step in fame,
To bath in fame, but as you tame the goddamn game,
You are just up above on pedestal by those around who blame
Whatever comes behind the curtain, eating it the same
Bitter lane… It’s all the bitter lane of work that did so much,
So much of thorns that stabbed, the choking moments taught by life
That gripped you tight and made you weep like little child
But do they know the loneliness and pain of trainings,
Writing, making, going, shooting, rehearsing, of not going home…
I mean, it’s all said and done…
They keep on like old goddamn thing on a parchment
Refuting the charges that pile
And truthfully, darling, with madness –
They know not of what soul survives
I watch you through glass, as I wonder
How much have you had inner peace?
Have you managed to be sleeping soundly?
Have you found that emotions release?
Have you loved spotlight shining so brightly?
Have you finally figured it out?
Is that all what you wish to be doing?
Is your soul further in distance, along?
Yes, your beauty is dazzling and charming,
Yes, your eyes are so certainly deep,
But the feeling is not really smiling
And the layers that’s hidden within
Not a thing that would matter dearly
I could really conjure with my pen
And I surely and truly just hope for
That you’re not any near the sad end
All the fans that shout loud with
“I’m shielding! I’m protecting and standing beside!”
I adore how it’s there, but like really,
Are we physically, mentally there?
Have we been very honest with own thoughts?
Have we witnessed a dime of their pain?
Have we honestly been there each second, every inch of that step of the way?
Frankly speaking, I’m more of a poet, of a writer that likes to observe
I respect how you all that magic: tours, recordings, the dances and more…
I just feel like we all are just human, and I truly just thank that you are
Nothing more, nothing less in a painting – just that heartfelt valtz stringing afar
I’ve been once just like many others – dreaming so many stories with stars
Then with years I’ve come growing – seeing galaxy in each persons eyes
I’ve discovered that we are all people – does not matter the type or the way
I’m in awe how some managed to flicker, I’m in awe how some managed to stay
Maybe years is the cure for this madness,
Maybe knowledge is one for the cure,
Though I’d still ponder endlessly lawless
In the halls of believes, wise old lore’s
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“If I may”
You are inspiring, so inspiring and polished in your art and art of you that it’s almost gripping me by my throat and choking slowly.
I admire you, as I keep watching you. But that in itself is not you. I sense it in wholeness of what is portrayed.
Frame of the mighty painting of you could not get me swayed – I saw the canvas cloth peek out and colours were different, it were messy and beautiful on its own different way. It made me feel like you should be more cherished, loved… Your heart protected, for you exposed a lot.
Your own self to be better looked after not only in body and mind, but heart and soul that transcend space and time.
I wish for your luck and your wellbeing dear, with my heart slowly fraying with tear, as I feel myself drawn to you nearly daily with some unfathomable home of something that’s as real as breath that’s left on window with a stained heart drawn on it with your finger.
I truly admire your poise, how people rejoice at your sight and your voice makes them lose that sane heart, with the body in movement making them sway – it’s like crazy that went out in the May…
And I dream, though I know how you are truly real, though in dreams I see you and we’re really cool dudes, well, like friends, or like those who came to know one another at some point somehow… Through time that went on.
I mean, I know that you’re human and have the needs and wishes, desires and that which makes inner strings play at the form of a heart in love or dismay…
If I may… If I truly may address you in person someday – I just hope that it’ll not come across too cliché and we’ll laugh at unease of my words being stifled, as I’ll laugh with unease feeling like throat is choking with these, shadow feelings that grab me with thoughts of the art that you make in the beat of own heart.
If I may… I’d love to tell you in person, but more private, so I would not need to speak louder, for my voice is quite quiet as is…
I hope that one day our encounter you’ll miss, and even if that moment comes soon – I just wish that you’ll also have something that I remind you.
That it’s shared in some way, just like humans create and sway – art in words or in paint, as the brush strokes create – I will tell you one day, If I may – that your humanly way keeps me choked at my heart, so I wish for your better dreams to be real, as I’d like for us to not be apart. And maybe that, maybe Art will keep the distance inching closer by day. If I may…
I’d love to maybe, once feelings develop say something along the lines of “Oh, I wished for this day” and make you feel odd, as I’d be weirded out by own words, making myself joke it off.
If I may… hold onto dreams that I see from day to day, with the senses that come and the closeness that’s inside that whole thing that’s in realms of the dream. If I may… I’d like to share the awkward things I’ve seen in the dreams, so I am not the only one with weird sway about words that I create. If I may…
Tell you I love you, though I don’t know if that’s from truthful heart or the mind that feels like it’s because we’re whole world apart.
If I may… I hope that one day you too might share the dreams and awkward words that brew in heart, or head or something else entirely instead, but I’d love to hear you too mumble at me the same “I love you” with same way as I’d do. And we’d hug.
If I may… Kindly tell you today that I’ve had the most wonderful day, as I found something magical. And wished to share with you, from my joy to your heart. If I may…
ArcDreamer 
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