“Note after a while” [musings]

There were days of being absolutely smitten by the hardships and the sadness. Yet the inner world had been there to keep going, to keep pulling towards the little things, to notice those little things, to strife for light.

With how the city after city the view changed and how the people changed, how the attitudes were differing and how I felt like limbo was there, that was slowly falling into little pieces, falling off.
It were the wanders, the step by step that moved the line on, that moved the heart on.

Not sure where to, as the road had not reached its destination yet. And the needed rest keeps popping up, reminding me that I cannot outlast the endless struggles. Past that all, past the self and old systems, beliefs and toxic patterns, on and on.

And then days swirl like the time speeds up, like the madness needs propelling the events into oblivion of actions.

The grey of sky once more is out the window and is there to greet one day by day.

Howling of wind, patter of rain, sounds of the radio that I put on, or the guqin that’s on… With nearing the edge to the moment of tower again and again.

What comes next? Bold determination, actions and reminder that kindness and trashing of abundance on others not necessarily is going to be rewarding in the long run.

There’s the time to act and time to relax. Right now it’s the good mixture of both. With hands cupping the self, leaving behind all that’s not worth time any longer, growing and nurturing what new is blossoming.


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