I sadly looked at violin. That was a gift from uncle and I knew he was a virtuoso at some point in life, as he played it in a band, with travels and concerts… But that was him and I’m me.

I can’t play an instrument for shit. I don’t hear what needs be heard, to be a musician. But mother insists anyway. She says that I have what it takes, I’m just lazy.
And how Am I lazy? By doing the lessons? Trying hard and not comprehending a single thing explained?

That completely drives me mad – that they still keep at it… That I still keep at it.
But then again – they wish for my success, as much as I wish for my success. We just view it differently, as maybe, maybe I am better at something else, that is not related to music…

Just eyeing the sheets on top of sheets of music in notes. Not that I am incapable of sorting it, or trying to play it. I have no clue how it sounds.

Evening, connected to friends on discord and with a chat that is about the “who is the killer? Who is imposter?”, laughing and trying to prove to each other that it’s “not me”.
At some point I began streaming these games. Quite popular. Maybe this can be the music I’ll succeed in?